Entry 1

Well, my birthday was, I guess, actually... not too much different from birthdays past. At least I wasn't throwing myself a party this time (however, that eight ball from Andie did make my 16th birthday slightly tolerable). That birthday I felt so left out because Dawson and Joey were together and preoccupied with their burgeoning...or was it crumbling... relationship. This birthday, I had Joey by my side and while it helped significantly, I should have known that wouldn't miraculously make it all better.

Let me just say in case I haven't mentioned it the last 24 hours, being a Witter is rough. And not getting accepted to college was even rougher. I know it's not my only chance... but it sure set the tone for what the future could hold.

What I said to Joey was true... it is getting harder and harder to fight to be together when fate seems to be pulling us down separate paths. Different roads.  My birthday wish: that no matter what road we get pulled down, all roads will lead back to each other.

Entry 2

Now that the excitement, or was it terror, surrounding my birthday has worn off significantly, I'm left contemplating how on earth I didn't get into this college. Part of me feels like an idiot for ever believing anyone when they said I could do it... Joey, Andie, Ms. Watson. But the thing is, for the first time, I was actually starting to believe in myself. I wanted this. I wanted it badly. I guess the saying  "too little, too late " really is true. I guess that's what happened. The thing is, I don't know why I wanted this. Is it because I really want to pay an exorbitant amount of money to an institution of higher education in order to excel in 100-level class with 200 students in them and chose between the pasta bar, salad bar, or wet bar? Or is it because I want to follow Joey's path so that she doesn't wander too far ahead of me? I don't know anymore. It's like everything is so intertwined... it's hard to see clearly. I'm only certain of one thing... and that's how much I love Joey. A future without her in it seems pretty empty.

Entry 3

So the senior ski trip is coming up. Joey and I were just talking about it. She's not sure if Mrs. Valentine will let her off work. I suggested she just quit and then she kind of snapped back at me that she needed all the money she could get for college. I sometimes forget what a financial burden she's under. I guess I always assume she'll get a free ride because who wouldn't want to give #4 a free ride?  Anybody that looks into her big brown eyes would want her to come to their school. They'd be lucky to have her.

Anyway, she told me she couldn't go. That it was too expensive anyway. And besides, how memorable would it be to hang out on a bus with a bunch of people she never much liked or talked to and participate in a sport that she wasn't good at.

I just thought it sounded kind of... romantic. Oh well.

Entry 4

Joey had a change of heart. She said she made great tips at the yacht club thanks to a birthday party she worked and decided she could afford the ski trip after all. I think it's because I bribed her... I told her I'd make sure it was worth her while. Now all she has to do is find someone to cover her shifts at the Yacht Club... Why do I have a sneaking suspicion that's going to be difficult?  Oh, I remember. Because it involves Drue and his crazy mom.

Entry 5

I know I'm driving Joey crazy about this ski trip - but we haven't been away together since our summer adventure... and I guess I just miss that. A lot. The two of us... away from everything Capeside. One thing Joey and I know how to do together... it's travel. Florida, Virginia, North Carolina, Connecticut, New York... Ah, New York...

First we went to Central Park, where a street artist sketched the two of us sitting on a park bench in about ten minutes. Then we went on a Carriage ride all around the park. It's pretty funny to be in a horse and buggy, while yellow cabs are screeching by!  After that we took a yellow cab, down to Times Square where we waited in line for half-price tickets. I went up and got them so Joey wouldn't know what show we were going to see. Next, we took a cab to Soho, where Joey and I window-shopped. I bought her this funky shirt that looked like a tank top in the front but was open in the back. Definitely sexy!  There was this little French Bistro nearby so we went in there for dinner. I had no idea how to read the menu - I saw something about omelets with like liver or brains or something. I just let Joey order for me. Dinner was good but dessert was amazing. They had the best chocolate mousse - with raspberries on top. Joey and I shared one and savored every delicious bite. We didn't have much time so we rushed to pay and catch a cab back up to the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre. When Joey saw the marquee, she freaked out.  "Beauty and the Beast. "  She grabbed me and hugged me. I spun her around. It was right out of a movie. But it was real. Everything about it. Me. Joey. Together. In New York City. The best part was even at half-price, out seats were great!  Joey was totally enthralled. She knew all the music since her mom had given her the Disney movie one year for Christmas... so I could hear her humming along softly. Her face lit up when the dishes and kitchen utensils were dancing all around in  "Be Our Guest. "  I had more fun watching her than the show. She was all choked up during that song that went  "Tale as old as time, tune as old as song, bittersweet and strange, finding you can change, learning you were wrong... "  I almost felt like Joey was somehow Belle and I was the Beast who'd been transformed by her love. The show was amazing - it was the first Broadway show she'd ever seen. Afterwards, we thought of getting coffee somewhere but she insisted on going back to the boat.

When we got there, I didn't know what was going to happen. I asked Joey what she wanted to do... she looked at me with those beautiful brown eyes... smiled... and held up a new book for us to read. The Little Mermaid. That night we started reading it aloud and we still haven't finished... I hope we never do. I can't think of a more perfect, more happy ending. Like Belle and the Beast... I hope we live happily ever after.